So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
