Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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