She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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