so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
