even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
