Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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