I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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