You can't motorboat a personality
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
