Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm getting married
To pizza
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
