he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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