All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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