When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
