so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
