She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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