I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
