He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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