Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My life is pants optional.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
