can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
