i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
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I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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