Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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