So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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