opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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