i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
