2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize