We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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