i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
