Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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