Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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