remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he shaved USA in his pubs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
