Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
