I don't think brook has ever known best
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
