There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A bitchslap is in order.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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