A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
