It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
