The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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