Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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