I didn't shave. On purpose
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize