Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
