can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
