Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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