someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize