Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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