am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
