my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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