hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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