feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
