the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
