We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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