This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
