my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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