I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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