worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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