I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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