dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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