i already hear my dad disowning me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
