the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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