At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
