dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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