What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
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Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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